Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
