We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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