if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
