my sisters under your porch take her home
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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