I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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