woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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