FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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