if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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