I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
