Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
