Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
cat food counts as protein by the way
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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