we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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