I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Four minutes until I can fart!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
