idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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