in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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