I got chris browned last night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
