Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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