Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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