I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
