Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
