wat bout pragnant strippers??
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
