I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
