Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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