you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
