i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
