I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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