ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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