dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
