I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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