He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I supernannyed him into submission
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
