fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
