Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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