She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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