So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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