On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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