Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
