More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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