dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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