Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
