Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
