i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
