Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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