Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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