I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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