my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
