Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
