2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
