The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
