I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
