That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
