dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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