My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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