I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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