bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
