Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
