Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
