Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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