Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell her she can't have a vagina
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
