Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
