I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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