she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
