I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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