I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
