you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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