Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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