is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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