was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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