i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
