he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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