I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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