Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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