I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
